Follow Up..

So I'm sure I sound a bit like a gemini. Newsflash: I am. BUT After reading my post from yesterday I have to realize. I have a lot to be thankful for and I realize that this is definitely purpose. However, purpose doesn't always mean easy, or breezy. By that I mean, there will be hard times. And, honestly, I can't say that I prepared myself for these hard times.

Blessings/Purposes of this journey
1. Finding and meeting my soulmate
2. Getting to know 3 amazing women
3. Learning about my self through compromise and adjustment
5. Housewife training lol (cooking, cleaning, being tidy)
6. Becoming healthier
7. Exercising more
8. Better understanding of my hair
9. Lifelong connections
10. Direction in life --- this is probably the biggest 1
11. Higher spiritual connection/Stronger Faith

The list could easily go on but that's from the top of my head. I think this cold weather had gotten the best of me. But I won't let it. I've got too much to be thankful for and grateful for.

Oh and btw --- this is the retail therapy from early lol! 

A new coat from H&M, 2 new pair of jeans, shower gel and lotion that came with freebies, gloves, and monoi oil! =) It was all defnitely worth the wait from last week,

Purpose or Convenience?

Somethings make you wonder whether you listened to the direction your life was suppose to take or you just did what was convenient. Honestly, I have enjoyed many parts of this journey. However, I have learned some very crucial things about myself as I do with every journey. Living with others simply isn't for me. Whether it's a best friend, an associate from college, or someone you hardly even know. There are obstacles that everyone must overcome. I know this. But, truthfully these obstacles are starting to make me feel as though I put them on myself. I mean I have no one else to blame except me. I chose to live in Spain with 3 women. WTF was I thinking? Hell, I ask myself that question quite often. Never again. I can say that much. As much as I've contemplated the issue, I come to the same result. I don't think it's any one's fault. The simple fact is I cannot function in chaos and I truly believe that no matter how well people get along, especially women, there will always be chaos. And that type of environment isn't conducive to my health. So even if it had been 3 other people that I saw on a daily basis, eventually I would have gotten sick of it. If it was 3 people that I have never seen, eventually I would have gotten sick. The same goes for 3 people that I kind of know.

I've also begun to question who I really trust since this journey. My trust is something that I've given freely since a life changing experience that I had. For me, trust and respect go hand in hand. If I trust you, I definitely respect you. My concept on this is that I will give my trust openly, but the minute someone does something I begin to take it away, little by little. A saying that has come to me over and over through this experience has been "When someone shows you who they are, believe them, because if anybody knows, they know" It's something that my great grandmother told me and its something that Maya Angelou said on Oprah's Master Class series. Fact of the matter is, every one that I'm living with has shown me who they are at some point, whether it be the good, the bad, or just the flat out ugly. Honestly, some of it I don't think I wanted to believe so I blocked it out a bit. But, it's only hurt me worse later through frustration. It's like you say something and it goes in one ear and out the other. I've gotten sick of talking to people. You listen to EVERYONE'S problem, you help everyone out, and when you need it where are they? I don't do those things because I expect it back, I do it because I have a good heart and I believe in helping others. But, there are only so many times that I can help and help and get kicked in the ass feeling like a dunce.

I'm running out of time I've got a class to go give, but I'll finish this later. Hopefully I won't be as frustrated when I return after a bit of much needed retail therapy. =)