Sunday, September 11, 2011

Meant to be

For the past few weeks I've been going through what I feel are life tests and trials. I've always felt that destiny exists and that God has a plan for my life. I'm not sure what is in that plan or how I'm suppose to go about finding it but I know that it exists.

It seems that so many things and so many people are trying to hold me back. But I feel this deep down, that I have to do this. I couldn't decide for the longest time, whether the people who were trying to hold me back had good intentions or were completely ill-mannered.

Where I come from, people don't get out. You stay here and make a living for yourself. But, you certainly don't travel halfway across the water after getting your degree. The inconceivable part of this whole thing for me is that I don't even have a plan behind it all. Actually, this wasn't even my idea...

My best friend told me about the program, and I laughed when she first mentioned it. But after deep consideration, I said to myself, why not, it's a great opportunity.

The other week I was watching Oprah's Master Class series. And something from this particular OMC on Oprah rang a bell in my soul. She said, that when you've done all you can do, and nothing else makes sense, surrender it all to God. And I just did that.

It seems so many things are beginning to come together. I still have no idea how I'm getting to Spain, but I know I am. I've got faith. I was watching my soap opera One Life to Live, and even the name speaks volumes. Well, the actor who plays the part of Christian Vega received the opportunity of a lifetime. His job asked him to travel to Spain (Barcelona) to teach but he had to leave instantly. Before he receives this offer he tries to rekindle magic with his first love, Jessica. They both decide it isn't worth it. As soaps go, once he arrives in Spain, he comes across the original actress who played the role of Jessica, only now she calls herself Erin. This is only important to me because Christian is my ULTIMATE favorite guy on the soap and consequently my soapstar hubby. The fact that his first love's named Jessica, isn't a coincidence neither is the fact that he's trying to replace her =). Well, atleas tin my mind it isn't LOL.
But the point of all this to me, is, how odd, that they choose Spain of all places to send him to, and to teach, the same month that I'm leaving and I can't seem to figure all of this out due to doubts. I've been really reconsidering it all thinking I should just look for a job here.

Most people may look at it and say it's nothing, but for me it was reassurance. It's that voice, that guidance that leads me the right way. It's still slightly hard for me to believe it all, but I know I have to do this for me, if for no one else. It's a dream of mine to travel, to see the world. But not just that, I want to help others too.

That's it for now, I will update more frequently once I'm in Spain. Right now, life is just a little too chaotic.

Of course, I send a RIP to all those lost in 9.11.11. That's still hard for me to believe as well. Even more shocking, my neighbor's daughter died today. =( I can't really believe it yet.